The Angel Chronicles
by Chloe Winchester
Summary: Collection of oneshots that I threw together starring Castiel and a character of my own Melissa. Some of it's mushy, some of it's violent, depends on the chapter! Please R&R Summaries inside
1. Concrete Angel

**--Okay, so this is a oneshot series I started just for giggles and Castiel Fangirls like myself. Ratings will vary from chapter to chapter. So, thank you for reading and please review!--**

**Rated: K+**

**Summary: Castiel has a secret, one that could cost him his grace.**

**Concrete Angel**

I stared out the window, realizing how cliché it was to be looking sadly out the window while it was raining. I was scared.

He was fighting tonight. He might get hurt. Someone had been killing angels why wouldn't they kill him? I told him it was dangerous to try and do this alone, but he told me he wasn't. He told me that there was someone there to help him. He wasn't overly pleased with the person at this particular moment in time, but at least he would help.

He told me he would come see me when it was all over, but that was three days ago. After the second angel was killed. God I was scared. What if he didn't come back? What if I never saw him again? What if I never found out if he really..? No, can't think like that, can we?

The rain made me sadder. It made it look like there was no hope for anything. It blotted out the stars and hid the moon behind ink black clouds. No hope. If he didn't come tonight, then I had to assume the worst. I had to assume he was gone, and I would never see him again.

The tears were there and on my face before I could stop them. My heart twisted tighter into the knot it had become. I looked out into the bleak rain streaked night, thinking about his face, his eyes, his voice. All something painful right now. I could never keep him for long; he always had to leave me. Always. I cried every time he did, angering myself further. I didn't even know if he cared. If he cared like I did.

I began to sob, coming to the conclusion that I wouldn't see him again and should just face it. Just face it, you stupid bitch! Face it! He's gone! Even if he survived, why the hell would he come back for a stupid little girl like you?!

I nodded in agreement with myself. It was true. He didn't care about me. If he did he would have been here already. If he wasn't…No, can't think like that, can we? Nevertheless, I buried my face in my hands and cried. I was stupid for thinking that there was a chance. Stupid for wanting something so much. Stupid for the hope I had with nothing to show it was possible. Stupid little girl!

"Melissa?" I spun around. There he was. Right in front of me, like I had only dreamed would happen only a few days ago. "Melissa, are you alright?" I ran to him, wrapping my arms around him, crying into his chest.

"I thought I lost you." I cried. He caressed my hair, wrapping his other arm around me. .

"I'm here. I'm alright," I looked up at him, seeing the cut on his head moments later. I reached up instinctively and touched it. "It's nothing." He said. I bit my lip.

"What happened?" I didn't want to know. Maybe at some point I did want to know what happened when he was away from me, but lately, lately there was nothing but bad news. Terrible news that made me want to scream at the heavens and ask why.

"Alastair wasn't killing angels, no demon was," He said. "It was Uriel." I shook my head.

"No," I said quietly. "No, Uriel's an angel he can't do something like that to his brothers and sisters!" I exclaimed.

"He's dead." I saw the hurt of the betrayal in his eyes. He looked away from me, tears in the blue eyes I had come to love so much. I touched his cheek, turning him to face me.

"And Dean?" I asked. He scoffed and turned, walking away.

"I knew, I knew when Uriel said what we were going to make him do that something was wrong. Why would God want a human to torture someone, whether it's a demon or not? Why would our Father want Dean to feel that again? To relive that pain and remember those faces again? Because Uriel was a liar!" I chewed my lip. "And Alastair escaped the Devil's Trap and beat Dean. He beat him to the point where he had to be admitted to a hospital. I might as well have let him. I didn't come to his aid until the damage was already done. I let my charge come to serious injury, because I was deceived! If I would have seen sooner…"

"Castiel, it's not your fault." I said. He shook his head.

"You want to know the worst of it?" I said nothing. "He told Dean about the seal," I shut my eyes. "What it's done to him. He feels that he's a monster. An evil person that should be thrown back into perdition for his actions. I confirmed it. I told him at the hospital that he was the only one who could stop Lucifer from rising, and he told me he couldn't do it," He looked up at me, tears in his eyes once more. "I didn't get there fast enough. If I would have fought a little harder to reach him, none of this would have come to pass. Dean would not feel that he has no right to live!" He fell to his knees, his face in his hands. I knelt down in front of him, coaxing his face up to look at mine. "I don't know what to do, Melissa. I don't know what to say to him."

"Do you know someone that might?" I asked.

"Zachariah, possibly," He said, standing. "I'm sorry I yelled." He was detached again. One moment I would crack the surface and then he would close up on me again. Men were tiring, angel or not.

"It's alright," I said quietly. "You were upset. It's okay to be upset."

"Emotions create doubt. I cannot afford to doubt right now." He said. His words hit me harder than if he had slapped me. I turned, fighting the stinging tears in my eyes.

"Is that why you're here then?" I asked bitterly. "To tell me that you have no room for emotions and you can't see me anymore?"

"No," He said. "I came because…I wanted to see you." I turned to face him.

"Castiel, do you love me?" I asked. I had to know.

"Yes." He said plainly. I couldn't tell.

"Not the way you love everyone else," I restated. "Do you really love me? The way I love you."

"Yes." I sighed and turned away again.

"I can't tell if you do or don't!" I spat. "You certainly don't show it. How am I supposed to-" I turned, and he was directly in front of me. "Know." He was looking directly into my eyes, as if he was looking into my soul itself. His hand touched my neck gingerly, cautiously almost, before he pulled me toward him, closing his eyes. His kiss was chaste and gentle, and filled with something I didn't think the angel possessed, passion. I kissed him back, deepening it. He seemed a little taken aback by the actions but he soon caught on. His fingers braided themselves in my hair. My arms wrapped around his neck, wanting him to be as close to me as possible. When we broke apart he looked into my eyes again.

"I love you, more than you'll ever know." He whispered. I caressed his cheek.

"How long can you stay with me?" I asked.

"Until tomorrow morning." He said. My heart sank.

"Only tonight?" I asked. He nodded sadly. "Wake me up before you leave this time." I sat down on the bed. He shrugged off the trench coat and suit jacket before taking me in his arms and laying my head against his chest. This was a first as well.

"You know this is forbidden." I whispered.

"I know."

"They could take away your grace for this." I said. He looked down at me.

"Let them." He said. He touched my face, my neck, looking at me in a way I had never seen him do before.

"Why are you acting this way all of a sudden?" I asked. I had to ask. He brushed a blonde curl from my face.

"Because I realized that life is short, whether you're an angel or not, and I don't want something to happen to one of us without me telling you how I feel." He whispered.

"For awhile I didn't think you could feel." I admitted.

"Yes, I've been told that many times before." He said. I chuckled lightly. We were silent for awhile. I listened to his heart, nuzzled my face deeper into his chest, wanting to feel his warmth.

"What if they take you away from me?" I said softly. He flexed his jaw.

"Then I will do all in my power to get back to you. I've been to Hell and back, there's nowhere I won't go." He said defiantly.

"Why me?" Why would he want such a stupid girl like me? All my life I was told I was creepy, and weird, and wore too much black, and spoke my mind too much for a girl to do. And now, now I'm being held by and angel, my angel. Why would he want me?

"Why did God make grass to go on a hill? Why is there night and day? Why would an angel fall in love with a human? Because they simply go together. I belong with you, no matter what the rules say."

"And what if your orders are to stay away from me?"

"Then I will break them. There is no possible way for me to stay away from you now. I couldn't if I wanted to. It would hurt too badly." My heart skipped a beat. God, I was glad angels couldn't lie.

We were quiet again for a long time.

"Can…" Castiel hesitated. "Can I, kiss you?" I smiled in spite of myself.

"Yes." It was still gentle, still passionate. He deepened it before I did. I touched his face, tangled my fingers in his hair.

We broke apart too soon, again.

"You should sleep." He said. I shook my head.

"I don't want to." I said. He stroked my cheek with the back of his hand.

"I swear to you I will be here when you awaken," He said. I bit my lip. I still didn't want to sleep. "Please?" He said. Ugh, cheater.

"Alright," I snuggled deeper into his arms, hanging onto his shirt like he would fly away if I let him go. He rubbed my forehead slowly. I felt my eyes get heavier and heavier. "Please don't leave me." I whispered.

"I have to," He said softly. "But God knows I don't want to."

Before anything else was said, I was asleep.

I woke up at dawn. He was looking down at me when my eyes opened.

"Angels don't sleep do they?" I asked.

"Sometimes," He said. "But I didn't last night."

"Why?"

"Because I wanted to make sure I remembered your face." I blushed. He looked out the window, then back to me.

"I must go." He said.

"Even if I tell you it was the nightingale and not the lark you heard?" I asked. I saw the echo of a smile on his lips as he shook his head.

"As much as I admire Shakespeare, no." He stood. My heart fell.

"Promise you'll be back soon." I said. He leaned down and pressed his lips to mine.

"I will always come back to you," He whispered. "Goodbye Melissa." And he was gone. I looked at the space in the bed where he was moments ago, laid down, and cried for my angel.


	2. Angel Eyes

**Rating: M (Violence)**

**Summary: When Castiel goes missing, Melissa turns to Sam and Dean to help her find him. Massive Hurt!Castiel**

**Angel Eyes**

_No lie was found in their mouths; they are blameless_

_Revelations 14:9_

I leaned my head against the wall and sighed. I think tardiness should be a sin, especially for angels. I knew that he was probably busy doing something heroic to stop the apocalypse and it was probably important, but was he allergic to a phone? I glanced at the clock again. Time seemed to move slower when you watched the clock. I think it had it out for me, I think it was moving slower on purpose just to jack with me.

A week had gone by since I had seen him last, and I hadn't heard a word from him. I think most girls would be worried, but, it's not like he's screwing around with someone else. Maybe there's another angel in his life. I shook my head. What a stupid thought.

I glanced at the clock again, angering myself when I saw only two minutes had passed since I last looked.

I leaned my head back and shut my eyes again. _Come on Cas, do your little appear out of nowhere Batman thing. Please…I miss you, so much. Please._ I opened them again, and saw nothing.

"Damn it." I spat. I shut my eyes again.

When I woke up it was light outside. And I was worried now. No matter how late he was, no matter if dawn was appearing outside he always came to me when he said he would. I stood and grabbed my phone. Castiel had given me Dean's phone number just in case, in case I was in trouble, or in this case, if he was in trouble.

_He might not be in trouble, Melissa. He could be fine. _

_No, no. He would have shown if he was alright._

I dialed the number. It was ten a.m., Dean was bound to be awake, right?

"Hello?" A voice on the other end said.

"Is this Dean Winchester?" I asked.

"Yeah, who is this?"

"I've never met you before, and you've never met me. My name's Melissa Flathers, I'm a friend of Castiel's."

"Cas has friends?" Dean said. "Since when?"

"That's not the point," I said. "I think Castiel might be in trouble, and you're the only person I know that can help me."

"How do you know he's in trouble?" Dean asked. He liked to ask questions.

"Be, because he was supposed to come see me last night and he never showed." I said.

"Maybe he was busy."

"He can't be late because he can't lie," I snapped. "And he's never not come before." There was silence on the other end for a moment.

"Oh, oh you're _that_ kind of friend." He said. I blushed.

"Can you focus for five seconds?"

"Sorry."

"Look, can you help me or not?" I didn't have time to be wasted. Every second I spent grappling with this asshole could be a second longer Castiel had to suffer. Or not. Whichever was going on right now.

"Yes, I can help you," He said. "But I need to know where you are first." I gave him my address.

"Hurry please." I said.

Dean was not what I expected. I thought he might be taller, not like that gigantic younger brother of his, but taller. I also thought he'd be a little less impressive in the handsome department. I guess I'm not that good at reading people.

"Maybe we should file a missing person's report." Sam suggested.

"And what should we put on the flier?" Dean asked. "'Lost Angel. Answers to the name Castiel. Reward: A spot in heaven.'?" Sam rolled his eyes.

"Where was Castiel going the last time you saw him?" Sam asked.

"I'm not really sure," I said. "I think he might've gone to talk to this angel Zachariah," Dean grimaced. "But I don't know where he went after that."

"Great," Dean shook his head. "I really don't want to talk to this guy." He mumbled.

"Talk to who?" Sam asked. Dean looked up.

"Zachariah, can I talk to you for a second?"

"Do you have angels on call all of a sudden?" Sam asked.

"Just trust me, dude." Dean assured.

"Is there something I can help you with?" I jumped back when I saw the man standing next to me.

"I think you already know what I'm going to ask." Dean said. Zachariah nodded.

"Yes, but it is rather amusing to hear humans repeat themselves." He said.

Dean folded his arms and glared at him. The angel's face turned grim.

"I don't think you want to find him right now," He said. "It's not only dangerous for all of you, but for him as well."

"Is he alright?" I asked. _Please let him be okay, please let him be okay ple-_

"No, he's not." My heart sped, my breath was gone. To hear him say that was worse than a bullet to my chest.

"Can you tell us where he is?" I asked, my voice barely audible. "Please?" The angel smiled lightly.

"Yes, I can."

"You wouldn't tell me, why her?" Dean asked defensively.

"Because she actually asked." I braced myself for what he would tell me, but he merely gave me an address and disappeared.

"I have to go find him." I said once Zachariah was gone. Dean nodded.

"We'll go with you."

* * *

I walked into the dank warehouse, wondering why this seemed to be a theme with melicious people. I stopped short when I heard noise. Screams. Agonizing screams that chilled me and made tears well in my eyes at the thought of what could be happening to the person who was emitting them.

Dean nudged my shoulder, signaling for me to keep going. The screams got louder as we crept down dark hallway, making me wince at every sound. Then I heard the harsh snapping sounds that seemed to be the cause of the screaming. We approached a large metal door that was the epicenter of the bone-chilling sounds. And I could make out words now.

"PLEASE! I beg you, PLEASE! MERCY, have mercy…PLEASE! No, AAAAAGGGGHHHH!" _CRACK! CRACK! _"Pl-please! Father, HELP ME FATHER, PLEASE!" The person began to sob, and the loudest, most hellacious clap of thunder I had ever heard in my life rumbled outside. I jumped, along with the two men beside me. "Ohuh," The voice whimpered. _CRACK!_"NUAH! No more, please, I beg you, no more!" I shut my eyes and clapped my hand over my mouth to stifle my own cry. I looked at Sam and Dean imploringly.  
"Not until whoever's in there with him leaves." Dean mouthed. I shut my eyes again.

Someone tapped my shoulder. Dean held up his index finger, telling me to hang on. He and Sam disappeared around the corner. I waited, listening to the pain-soaked cries coming from the room next to me.

_CRACK! CRACK! CRACK!_

"Please, oh please stop!"

_CRACK!_

"PLEASE!"

And then it stopped. All that was left were the sobs and the storm blasting outside. A door opened and closed and footsteps died far away from me. I waited for a moment and heard nothing. That was when I darted for the door.

He was in the middle of the damp, chilled room, huddled over his knees, crying. His shirt was missing, his feet were bare and his hands were bound behind his back. I walked toward him, biting my lip. I knelt down in front of him; he sensed that I was there and shrunk away from me.

"Cas," I said quietly, lifting his chin. He fought against me weakly. "Castiel, it's alright. Look at me, it's okay, Baby." His crystal blue eyes opened, red-rimmed and overflowing with anguish and tears.  
"Me-Melissa?" He whimpered.

"Shh…" I stroked his face; he closed his eyes and leaned into my hand. I hugged him to me, biting my lip when he began to sob. "Shh, it's alright Castiel. It's over. You're safe." He was trembling violently against me. I looked at his back, and instantly wished I hadn't. His flesh was torn in gash after gash. His wrists bled from the rope that bound them together. I looked away to see the bloodied whip just a few feet away.

"I'm gonna untie you, okay?" I said. He nodded, still crying. I don't think he could stop. I started untying the rope, wincing every time he gasped in pain. Once the rope was off he brought his hands around, supporting himself to stay on his knees.

I caught him before he hit the ground after his arms gave out. I laid his head in my lap stroking his damp hair out of his clammy face. His breath was labored and heavy. He was shaking and whimpering and tears were still leaking from his eyes as easily as if it were rain.

"Shh," I soothed. "It'll be okay, Castiel. It's over now." He buried his face in my shirt, clinging to it like I would disappear.

"What is this called?" He whispered.

"What?" I asked.

"This horrible, horrible feeling, what is it?" He cried.

"Pain?" I ventured. "Oh God, Cas, you've never felt pain before, have you?" He shook his head. Tears filled my own eyes and I hugged him closer to me. I tried to ignore the warm blood that touched my hands, and then I realized, he wasn't healing. "Cas, why aren't healing? Why isn't this going away?" I asked. He shook his head. "Please, tell me Angel."

He swallowed hard and lifted a trembling hand to my forehead.

* * *

I was watching this happen. I could not speak or move, I could only see whatever this force permitted me to see. I saw Castiel in the middle of the room on his knees, like I had when I first saw him, but his wrists were not bleeding and his back was free of welts. A man was hitting him, punching him in the face over and over. Each time he did, a bruise in another place would disappear. The darker they were, the longer they took to fade. I wanted to look away, or close my eyes, do something to make all of this go away, but it didn't

The man stopped and backed away, out of breath. "I almost forgot," He chuckled. "Angels heal too fast. But I need you to hurt, Castiel. And there's only one way to do that, now isn't there?" Castiel's eyes grew in terror. He shook his head.

"No, you wouldn't. You wouldn't." He said. The man grinned, his eyes turning black as night.

"Oh, I would." He took a knife from his pocket. Castiel's breath was rapid, his eyes trained on the knife. The demon approached him, and I feared he would cut Castiel, instead, he cut himself. The man grabbed Castiel's jaw and forced his head up. Castiel fought against him, turning his head to get out of the man's grip. The man grabbed his throat and squeezed. Tighter, tighter, the angel's face turned redder and redder. Finally Castiel gasped for air. The demon grabbed his jaw once more and forced his mouth to stay open. He held his arm over Castiel's mouth and allowed four drops of blood to fall down his throat. The man backed away from him.

Castiel cried out. Softer at first, then louder, louder, louder. He collapsed on his side, convulsing and screaming. He trembled hard, taking in heaving gasps of air. Fire pulsed through his veins, constricting around his vessel's heart and squeezing with burning wires. His back arced, blood shot to his face and his hands clenched into fists.

"GAAAAHHH!" He shrieked. Pain wracked his body hard, the fire licking at his bones, slowly burning him alive. But this would not kill him. This would go on for hours and not kill him. Then the demon could hurt him like he wanted.

I could feel all of this, see it, almost touch it, but I couldn't stop it.

* * *

And then I was back in the present. Castiel's hand fell back to his side. I looked down at him, feeling tears of my own on my face.

"Demon blood?" I said softly. He closed his eyes. "That's why you can't heal?" He nodded. I hugged him tighter, trying to get the horrible images of his screaming face out of my head.

His body quivered underneath my arms. I took off my jacket and draped it over him. He touched my face. "God, your hands are so cold." I said. He pulled my face closer to his, gently pressing trembling lips to mine.

"I d-don-don't want t-to be here." He whispered. I brushed his hair from his face once more.

"I know, I know, shh…" I said calmly. "We have to wait for Sam and Dean." He whimpered and closed his eyes. I touched his forehead, grimacing when I felt the magnitude of the heat coming from it.

I kissed him again. And again. I wanted him to be okay. I wanted to take time back and make sure I stopped this before it happened. But I couldn't. I was only human.

"I'm s-sorry I was-wasn't there l-last night." He said. I felt my heart twist. He was apologizing. After all that he had been through he was saying he was sorry for not being with me.

"Melissa?" A voice said behind me. Castiel jumped and hid his face in my shirt.

"Shh, it's just Dean."

I saw worry in the hunter's eyes as he looked at his guardian angel, well, our guardian angel.

"Is he okay?" He asked. I shook my head. "The asshole that did this is dead." He said. I sighed, assured.

"We should get him out of here." Sam said. Dean nodded. I let Castiel go slowly as Dean lifted him by the arm. Sam grabbed his other arm to support his weight. And Castiel was screaming again. I smelled something burning, and I realized quickly that it was human flesh. Castiel was trying weakly to pull away from Sam, who was hanging on tighter in confusion.

"SAM LET HIM GO!" Dean bellowed. Sam dropped Castiel's arm and backed away. Castiel shrunk into Dean's side, sobbing. I rushed over, ducking under his arm and hoisting it over my shoulder.

"I can-can't take any-anymore." He choked. I touched his face and gave him a painful smile.

"I know, we're leaving, okay?" I glanced briefly at the burned handprint on his arm before starting for the door.

* * *

We laid him down as carefully as we could on my bed. He didn't let go of my hand. I saw the fear and desperation in his eyes to keep me with him. A painful pang hit my heart again.

"I'm staying right here," I said, sitting next to him on the bed. "But I have to clean up your back alright?" He swallowed hard and nodded.

"Where's your first aid kit?" Dean asked.

"Uh, bathroom." I said. I turned my attention back to Castiel. I didn't know how long Castiel had lived, but in all that time he had, he had never, ever felt an ounce of pain. Not one. And now he had been tortured since God knows when. He had no idea what to do. How to fight it, how to endure it. He didn't have that knowledge that most of us do.

I looked up at Sam.

"Do you have some clothes he could use?" I asked. Sam nodded and walked out of sight. I stroked his forehead, trying to offer what little comfort I could.

He sighed and leaned into my hand, wincing and inhaling sharply seconds later.

"It hurts." He gulped. I bit my lip.

"I know, it'll be alright. Shh…" He coughed, cringing and moaning once he did. Dean walked up behind me and handed me the first-aid kit. "Thanks," I looked at the jaded angel, wanting to cry again. But I couldn't. I had to be strong, for him. "Okay, Castiel, I have to roll you over." He nodded slowly. I did as gently as I could. He cried out once, and breathed deep into the pillow under his head, holding tears at bay.

I hated doing this. I knew the alcohol on the rag would burn and sting, causing him more pain than he had already endured, and it wasn't fair.

"Ahhuhh!" He sobbed. I stroked his sweat soaked hair, tears in my own eyes.

"God, I'm sorry, Angel. I'm so sorry. It'll help, it'll help." I said softly.

"P-promise?" He whispered shakily. I bit my lip.

"Yes, I promise." He gripped the pillow tighter and whimpered when the rag touched another gash. I apologized every time I knew I hurt him. I felt so terrible. I felt like I was only torturing him more, and in a way, I was.

When I was done and had rolled him back over I kissed him.

"I'm so sorry." I said. He shook his head.

"You wou-wouldn't hurt m-me." He said in a low voice. I kissed him again.

"It's almost over okay?" I assured. He nodded. He trusted me with all of his heart. He was innocent, in every way, and the man that did this had taken advantage of that.

They say that when you go through extreme amounts of torture it brings out your bare essence, who you really are. And Castiel had revealed who he was, innocent, naïve, and pure, the way an angel should be.

I wrapped the burn on his arm carefully, but the pain made him cry again. I didn't hold that against him, none of it was his fault. His temperature was 101.5. I put a cold rag on his head, making him whimper again. I gently dabbed his face. I doubted that any medicine would work and this was the only way I knew how to fix this. I stopped after a moment, trying to give him just a little relief. I put the clothes that Sam had set next to me on him, his hot skin erupting in goosebumps when the cold material touched him.

"Are you alright?" I asked. He shook his head.

"It hurts." He breathed. I hugged him close to me, running my hands through his hair, kissing his cheek every so often.

"What do you want me to do?" I asked. He looked at me with those pain-soaked eyes, so much need and fear in them.

"Hold me, please." I nodded and caressed his face, pushing his hair from his eyes. And as he fell asleep in my arms, I knew this wasn't over.


	3. Angels Fall Sometimes

**Rating: T **

**Summary: Melissa probes the cause of Castiel's kidnapping, and why Sam can't touch him. Still Hurt!Castiel**

**Angels Fall Sometimes**

I held him in my arms. Even in sleep he didn't look as peaceful as he should. He looked uncomfortable, scared. God, why couldn't I just make this go away?! Why couldn't I do anything to make this better? His body still trembled with cold, and his wounds weren't any better than they had been earlier.

"Any better?" Dean asked. I jumped, wondering how long he and his brother had been standing there. I shook my head and wiped my eyes.

"No, it's…it's the same." I said.

"Why the hell would someone do this to an angel?" Sam asked. Sam, something wasn't right about him. Especially because when he touched Castiel he burned him. Shouldn't something be evil in order to do that? I gently lied Castiel down, being as careful as I could not to wake him before I stood.

"Can I ask you something?" I asked.

"Yeah." Sam said.

"Why can't you touch him?" I said, a little more accusatorily than I had intended. Dean looked from me, to his brother and back again.

"I don't know." The younger Winchester said honestly.

"There has to be something about you that would burn an angel if you touched them," I saw something in his eyes; guilty recognition. "I know you know. What?" He remained silent. "Don't you think I deserve an answer?!"

"It's complicated, Melissa." Dean said.

"I have all the time in the world." I said. Sam sighed and glared at me. The look meant nothing to me. As if I cared if this man liked me or not.

"When I was six months old a demon dropped his blood in my mouth. I guess it never wore off." He said.

"That wasn't all that complicated." I said.

"That isn't all of it." Dean stated.

"But it's all we're telling you." Sam snapped. I scowled at him.

"Did I do something to piss you off?" I asked.

"Let's see, you call us out of nowhere and say that you can't find Castiel. When we do find him he's beaten to hell, and you were the last person that saw him before hand." Sam accused. I couldn't believe he had said it.

This man didn't know me. This man had no idea who I was, what I've done in life, and he sure as hell had no idea what Castiel meant to me.

"How dare you," I said darkly. "You think I actually had something to do with this?! You don't even know me, you son of a bitch! How dare you stand there and accuse me of something like that while you can't touch him because you have his type of poison running in your veins!" Sam looked at me, and then at his brother, who shook his head.

"Sam, if she had something to do with this, don't you think Zachariah would have said something?" He said.

"You're taking her side?" Sam asked, appalled.

"She's an angel's girlfriend, dude. I don't think she could do anything like this to hurt him. I mean, did you see her face when we found him?" Dean defended. I was grateful. At least they both hadn't condemned me.

"Could be an act," Sam said. I scoffed. I _really_ didn't like this guy. "And she hasn't exactly been the nicest person to us."

"How the hell would you act if someone you cared about disappeared? You wouldn't be the happiest camper, now would ya?" Dean said. Once again I was grateful for the defense.

"It's not our fault that Cas got taken by that guy." Sam said.

"And it's not mine either," I said. I sighed. "I was just asking why you couldn't touch him, okay? I wasn't trying to royally piss you off." He nodded shortly.

_Fine_, I thought._ Be a dick, I don't give a damn._Dean opened his mouth to speak when Castiel whimpered. I spun around, scared. He jerked and rolled over in his sleep, his face screwing up in pain. I went to him, not sure how I covered the distance between him and me so quickly.

I touched his forehead, which was giving off a tremendous amount of heat and only worried me further.

"No," He begged softly. "No, no, please. Let me go, please."

"Shh," I caressed his cheek, trying to wake him up gently. "Cas, wake up Baby, it's alright. Shh…"

"It hurts, please, it hurts." He sobbed, tears leaking from his eyes. The storm started up again, as loud and viscous as before.

"Cas, c'mon, Angel, wake up." I lightly shook his shoulder. He writhed underneath the sheets, his body covered in a cold sweat, making him tremble.

"Uhhn, please." He pleaded.

"Cas, wake up!" His eyes opened and he looked around the room frantically. I saw deep confusion in his eyes.

"No, no I wasn't here," He said quietly. "I was, and they were, and I, no-"

"Shh, it was a nightmare, Angel," I said. "That's all. He can't hurt you anymore."

"But, but it was so real!" He said shakily. I sighed. Castiel had never dreamt either. How the hell was he supposed to know what the difference between a dream and reality was?

"Shh, it wasn't real. It was only a dream. Dreams can't hurt you, alright?" I said. He shook his head.

"I don't know what a dream is." He explained. I nodded.

"I know. It'll be okay." I pressed the wet rag to his forehead again, biting my lip when he whimpered.

"'S cold," He said, shivering. "Always. So cold." I pulled the blanket that was draped over him up to his chin.

"I have to get your fever down." I said. Got I hated hurting him. It wasn't at all fair. What I wanted to know was where the hell was God? Why would he let one of his angels be hurt this way?

_Look at the Holocaust, Mel. Why'd he let that happen? _

I couldn't name all of the terrible things that had happened and God was nowhere to be seen. But I had faith.

"Why did my father let this happen?" Castiel asked, as if reading my mind. "Why didn't he help me?" His eyes truly begged me for the answer.

"He did," I said. He looked confused. "He sent me to you. I found you, I got you out of there. I don't think it was by accident, Angel." I didn't believe my own words, but he did. He shut his eyes and took a trembling deep breath. He was silent for awhile, and I was barely aware of the two brothers standing solemnly behind me. I continued to dab his forehead with the rag, praying that it might bring his fever down. I was still highly doubtful that Tylenol would work, or any other medicine for that matter. I wished desperately that I could subdue his suffering, even a little. But no, he had to endure it.

"Ah," He moaned, cracking the silence like the thunder outside. "Me-Melissa, something's wr-wrong!" He looked at both of his arms and his torso frantically.

I pulled the covers back and gasped. His veins were a violent shade of red. I could see them pulsing with his heart, standing on end. I lifted his shirt and saw the same thing there. I gently touched a tributary; he cringed. They were hot, unbelievably hot, but the rest of him felt so damn cold.

I realized then that the fire I had felt when he had shown me what happened when he was forced to drink the demon blood was still there. It was slithering its way through his bloodstream. Maybe it would be cleaned out soon and his vessel would be free of toxins, but it could be a long wait.

"What…Wh-what's..?" He asked, fear thick in his voice. I lifted him into my arms, letting him bury his face in my shirt. The storm worsened when he started to cry. He was at his wits end. I didn't know how much more he could take.

Going from never feeling pain to more than most people had ever felt in their lives in less than a week was definitely enough to drive one insane.

"Make it stop," He begged. "Please, Melissa, please make it stop. I can't…No more…I can't…"

"Shh," I soothed. "You're gonna be fine, alright? I promise it'll stop." His gentle eyes were soaked in pain, such confused pain it was.

I kissed his temple and hugged him again, tears in my eyes.

"Oh yeah, Sam, she sure as hell wants to hurt him, mm-hm." Dean whispered.

"It hurts, so much…" Castiel choked.

"I know, shh," I looked down at him, trying to give him a reassuring smile. "You need to rest." He shook his head.

"No! No! I can't. Please, Melissa, don't make me, please!" He begged. The nightmares. He was scared of the nightmares.

"Cas, I'm gonna be right here. Right next to you, okay?" I said. I lied down with him, pulling his trembling body to mine.

"We'll be, uh, outside." Dean said awkwardly. I didn't care. Castiel was all that mattered right now. I hugged him to me, running my fingers through his hair.

"Don't leave me." He said softly.

"I won't, Angel." I said.

"Promise?" He asked. I nodded; the tears I had been holding back fell, breaking through the levee.

"I promise."

* * *

He was fine the next morning. His wounds had utterly disappeared. There wasn't even an echo of a scar left. He was back to normal, well, whatever normal was for him. He did his usual I have and tried to vanish after that.

"Are you kidding me?" I asked. He looked confused. "After all of that last night, you just go and bail on me? What happened to you? How did that demon get you?"

"Melissa, it was an accident. I thought he was a human that needed help. He turned out to be a demon that wanted to hurt me." I sighed. There was no getting through to him when he was like this.

"So, when can I see you again?" He bowed his head, and I knew the answer. I nodded bitterly. "Well, bye then. Nice to see you too." I turned, not wanting to look at him anymore.

I was surprised when I felt arms wrap around me and turning me around. I looked up into that brilliant blue, astonished by the look he was giving me.

"I can't thank you enough for what you did for me, Melissa." He kissed me, and I felt like I was in heaven. We didn't break apart too early, like we usually did. This time he held onto me and wouldn't let me go. Our lips parted and joined together several times, but he continued kissing me. And I let him.

I tried to memorize the feel of his lips, their shape, everything. How he held me, how warm he was, how his lips tended to linger above mine before he decided to keep going, everything.

We finally did break apart, and reality came back to me.

"Are you alright?" I asked. He smiled gently.

"Don't worry about it, alright?" He said. He kissed me once more, swiftly though. "I have to leave…"

"I know."

"I love you." One more kiss.

"I love you." I said, and he was gone. The next time I saw him, he wouldn't be him anymore.

--More later!--


	4. God Must Be Busy

**--I know it's been awhile and for that I apologize. Enjoy anyway!!--**

**Rating: T**

**Summary: Melissa finds Castiel's body without Castiel in it. **

**God Must Be Busy**

It had only been a week. Just seven days. But I was about to learn that that didn't matter. I was about to learn that so much can happen in a minute, let alone seven days.

I walked down the street, looking up at the blue sky, wondering if he was alright. I was used to not seeing him now. I was used to being alone for long periods of time. But it was all worth it when I got to see him again. But I worried so much about him. Maybe too much. But then again, the end of the world was coming. So I had a right to worry, right?

I looked ahead of me, knowing I would soon draw attention to myself if I continued to stare at the sky.

And then, like he had read my mind or fate was actually real, he was right there, standing less than a hundred feet from me. My stomach filled with more happiness than it had in a very long time and I smiled, letting it spill over onto my face. I all but ran to him, stopping myself from jumping onto him.

"Cas!" I said. He stared blankly at me. There was something different about him, aside from not wearing the usual trench coat. He looked…too human.

"Excuse me?" He said. His voice was different too. My heart sank down into dark, black despair. Soaking it in darkness to the point that it would never be anything but icy black again.

"You, you're not Castiel, are you?" I asked, dreading the answer that I know was true.

"No," He said, shaking his head, concern in his eyes. "My name's Jimmy Novak. I'm not sure where Castiel is."

I said nothing. I couldn't speak. He was gone…Castiel, was gone.

"I know you," Jimmy said quietly. "I can…sort of remember you." I looked at the ground. Still unable to find my voice.

"You meant a lot to him," He said. "I don't know why I know that, but I do," My heart split in half, tearing at any and every seam it had. He reached out and touched my shoulder, making the pain intensify. "I'm sorry." His voice was genuine. I looked up at him and tried to smile.

"You have your own family to go to," I choked, my voice hardly anything. "Don't worry about me." I pulled out of his grip and walked away.

I could still feel his eyes on me, those blue eyes that I couldn't dare look into. I wasn't going to break down in front of him. I was in no way going to blame Jimmy Novak for the fact that my angel was gone. And I would never see him again. What happened? Why is he gone? Where the hell did he go and why?

I rounded the corner, into the shadows of the alley that no one could see me in, even in the middle of the day in the bright sunlight. I leaned against the cold brick that I could barely feel. All of me felt this way. The wall and I had something in common. We both were cold and hard, and there was no going back. I felt hot tears slide down my face on their own. I didn't sob. I don't know why. I just sat there against the brick, and let the tears fall by themselves. I don't know how long I sat there, the thoughts of my previous shopping venture forgotten, and I wasn't sure if I'd ever move again.

"Melissa." An unfamiliar voice said next to me. I jumped and looked up at the red headed woman above me.

"Who are you? What do you want?" I asked, my voice hoarse.

"I'm here about Castiel." She said. I stood, angry that she had said his name.

"Who the hell are you?" I growled.

"I'm Anna. I'm an angel too." She said. I flexed my jaw.

"Are you a good angel or a bad angel?" I smirked. She sighed.

"Melissa, I can understand why you don't trust me. But believe me, Castiel is the closest brother I have. I killed Uriel before he could kill Cas. And I need your help." She said.

"How can I help you?" I asked. She looked at the ground.

"I need you to help me find out what happened to him. I can take you to the last place he was before he disappeared. I need you to figure out what happened." She admitted.

"And you can't do this yourself because..?" I prompted, still unsure if I trusted her.

"I can't tell you that, Melissa." She said. I tensed.

"You're making it really hard for me not to hit you." I said. She nodded.

"I know. But I really need your help," I looked away from her. "If you won't do it for me, do it for him." She said. My head snapped up, looking into her brown eyes.

"How did you even know to come to me?" I asked, kicking myself for not thinking of it sooner.

"Castiel asked me to watch out for you if he couldn't. Like when he's busy doing something for Dean." She said.

"You know Dean?" I asked. She blushed and nodded. I didn't press the matter further.

"I won't say anything about your and Castiel's relationship," She said. I glared at her. "I told you, Castiel and I are close."

"I'll help you," I said. "But for him, not you." She nodded and grabbed my arm. I blinked and we were in a warehouse, well what used to be a warehouse.

It looked like a bomb went off inside it. I walked around, trying to see if I could find anything that might lead me to Castiel.

That was when I found the bloody symbol on the wall. I looked up at it, slightly scared of it. I knew what it could do.

"Melissa," Anna said behind me. "I need you to focus really hard on that symbol and tell me what you can tell about it." I was confused, but I tried. I looked at the symbol. I could see the fingers tracks in the blood. Frantic and hurried.

"Castiel made this," I said, not knowing where I got the information. "But he didn't finish in time. They came for him anyway."

"'They' who, Melissa?" Anna asked.

"His superiors. Castiel has disobeyed, they've taken him back to Heaven to punish him and make him listen," Where the hell was this coming from. "They're going to hurt him." I said plainly. My voice wasn't even my voice anymore.

"I need to go tell Sam and Dean," She said. I nodded. "Go home, Melissa." She said. I nodded again, unable to tear my eyes away from the symbol written in my angel's blood. I was alone now. I could feel it. I could _feel_ Anna leave. I blinked and shook my head, looking around the warehouse again. I could see things now. I could see places in the warehouse that glowed with a white dust. Like someone had spilled flour. Above me, where the warehouse roof had broken it was all around the opening. I looked down around my feet.

I could almost see what had happened here. Castiel stood where I was now, cutting his arm and frantically drawing this symbol on the wall, looking over his shoulder to make sure he was still alone. That he still had more time. Then the roof exploded. They came down at him. He had no chance to get away. He backed away from them, under the lone light bulb still lit. But they were too fast for him.

They reached in Jimmy's body, dragging Castiel from it, ripping him from Jimmy. He fought against them, thrashing back and forth, continually reaching for Jimmy, trying to hang on. They clawed at his celestial body, making it impossible for Castiel to return where he belonged. Jimmy's unconscious form fell under the light while the angel continued to fight against them, screaming silently for someone to save him. For me. They began to ascend and Castiel fought harder, writhing and squirming in hopes they would lose their grip and drop him. But they chained him now, and his hope was gone. Then they were gone in a light that hurt my eyes.

I shook my head. How the hell was I doing this? What was happening to me? I ran out of the warehouse, not wanting to see the haunting scenario play again.

I needed to go home, like Anna told me to.

By the time I got home it was dark, and the world finally matched how dark I saw the world now. No stars, no moon, nothing. Just black.

I walked into my bedroom, collapsing. I had no tears left, though I wanted to cry desperately. I bit my lip. They had dragged Castiel back to Heaven. To hurt him. Most likely to show the other angels what happened when they disobeyed. I just prayed that they didn't know about us. That would make it so much worse. Maybe I shouldn't pray then.

I heard a loud bang outside. I jumped and stared at the window in the living room that led to the outside, fearing someone had been shot. Or a car had backfired. The first thought was just a reflex of mine. I waited for sirens or a truck to start. I didn't hear either one. I waited, for what I don't know.

Something hit my front door. I stood, another reflex. Something hit my door again. A rap. Just one. I walked toward the door, uneasy. Another rap.

I slowly opened the door, trying to ready myself for whatever this might be. But when I saw the person on the other side I was no longer afraid. I was too happy to be anything else.

"Cas?" I asked. He looked up at me, his face and eyes unreadable. He was leaning slightly on the doorframe and winced when he straightened up. I stepped back when he walked toward me.

"Melissa." Was all he said before he shut the door. I looked at him, waiting for him to say something, anything else. All he did was look at me. And I couldn't take it anymore. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him. He remained motionless. And I realized at that moment that even though he was here in front of me, I had lost him.


	5. On a Wing and a Prayer

**Rating: T**

**Summary: Melissa discovers what happened to Castiel when he was sent back to Heaven and something about herself that isn't normal**

**On a Wing and a Prayer**

I pulled away from him. He looked down at me, expressionless. I shook my head.

"No, Cas, don't look at me like that." I said. I was almost begging. I stepped back. He was still as robotic as he had been when he walked in.

"Melissa." He repeated.

"What?!" I yelled. All the joy I had minutes ago had vanished. He didn't even flinch. "Cas, what did they do to you?" He reacted now. He looked away from me, fear and pain in his eyes.

"I can't tell you." He said softly. I had broken through that awful shell that Heaven had made him put on.

"Castiel, please, don't pull away from me like this." I said. He looked at me, pain in those beautiful eyes.

"I have to." He said in a strangled voice.

"Why? Because they told you to?" I asked. The tears I thought I had run out of were here now, stinging and falling from my eyes with as little effort as earlier. He shook his head and walked toward me.

"No, no, Melissa, no," He reached out to me, but dropped his hand, almost forcing himself not to touch me. "I'm pulling away from you so they don't get you. I'm trying to protect you, Melissa."

"So I have to lose you for me to stay safe?" I asked tearfully. He nodded. "Castiel…" I was at a loss at what to say.

"I don't want to leave you. But I can't stand the thought of you being hurt by them because of me." He said painfully.

"How come they haven't found us yet, don't they watch you?" I asked. He nodded.

"They watch me, always. But not when I'm with you," He said. "They can't see me when I'm here."

"Why?" I asked.

"You're special." He said.

"Castiel, if they can't see you, then please, come here," I pleaded. He seemed torn. I could tell that part of him desperately wanted to come to me, but the other wanted to stick to his original plan. "Please." I needed him, so much. I thought he was dead until now.

The side that wanted me won. He lunged at me, holding my face and pressing his lips to mine with a ferocity I hadn't seen in him before. I held the back of his neck, making sure he didn't pull away until I said so.

"Melissa." He whispered, right before he collapsed. I jumped and knelt down in front of him. He was on one knee, breathing deeply, his eyes shut tightly, sweating.

"Castiel, what's wrong?!" He was pulling on the sleeve of his trench coat and it took me a moment to understand that he was trying to get it off. I helped him pull it off. He started shrugging off the blazer, desperately, it seemed. I could tell what he was trying to do now. I pushed the suit jacket off of his shoulders and slid the tie from around his neck. His hands were shaking so badly he couldn't undo the buttons on the white collared shirt. I nearly ripped through the buttons, baring his chest. He held his arms to his chest, his face still contorted in agony that I couldn't see.

"Castiel, talk to me, what's wrong?!" I said, frantic.

"Melissa, get back," He said through gritted teeth. I scrambled back, tripping over my hands. "C-close your eyes." I obeyed, a little frightened now.

Through my closed lids I saw a flash of white light that faded quickly. I dared to open my eyes, and I gasped.

Two black, glistening wings had appeared out of Castiel's back, hanging down at his sides on the floor. But there was something wrong with them. One was bent at an odd angle; feathers were disturbed where they shouldn't be. Other than that, my God, they were beautiful. I had never seen anything so utterly magnificent in my entire life.

Castiel's breath was still deep and labored, but it was more relieved than pained. He looked up at me, his eyes growing in terror.

"Mel-Melissa, your eyes!" He exclaimed, voice shaking. My eyes were wide as well, but with wonder.

"I'm fine." I assured, distracted. I crept toward him, watching his face to see if he would tell me otherwise. He didn't.

I touched his face when I had reached him, still looking at his wings. Now that I was closer, I could see the blood on them.

"Cas…did they, did they break your wings?" I whispered, barely daring to say it.

"Yes," He said in an equally quiet voice. "Among other things," I looked down at his body instinctively. He shook his head. "You won't be able to see anything. They didn't do it while I was in Jimmy."

"Jimmy," I said, the thought suddenly dawning on me. "What happened to Jimmy?" Castiel bowed his head.

"He almost died. When they permitted me to go back I possessed his daughter so she would be protected from the demons that had taken her, like Jimmy asked for. He was shot by one of the demons. Instead of allowing himself to pass on, instead of allowing me to grant him peace in Heaven, he asked me to leave his daughter and possess him again. He would rather suffer and be away from the ones he loved than have his daughter go through it," He paused, not meeting my eyes. I could hear the internal pain in his voice. "I feel so terrible." I bit my lip. He cringed, squeezing his eyes shut. I gently touched one of the glossy feathers, being careful not to hurt him.

"Will they heal?" I whispered. He nodded.

"Eventually, yes. That's why I fell," I understood now what the loud noise had been. "I landed on someone's vehicle." I glanced at the bruise on his shoulder, the dark purple already turning a sickly yellow, healing faster than a normal bruise of that magnitude would.

"So, when you guys do that blipping thing from one place to another, you're flying?" I asked. He nodded, biting his lower lip and hissing.

"I'll be alright," He said, noticing my panicked expression. "I, I just need to rest." I stroked his cheek and gently kissed his forehead.

"Why would they do something like this to you? How can they hurt their brother like this?"

"I disobeyed," He breathed. "Disobedience is prohibited to anyone who calls themselves loyal. Look what happened to Lucifer." I bit my lip and shook my head.

I didn't understand it. What was Heaven anyway? What was with these angels, these beings that were supposed to protect humans and love like God does? They seemed to be nothing more than controlling, emotionless, faceless puppet masters that wanted nothing but complete control of those lesser than them.

And why could I see the things I saw? Why could I look at Castiel's wings and keep my sight? Could I see him in his celestial form as well? I didn't know. And I didn't really want to know.

"You need to rest." I said quietly.

"Yes." He said softly. I stood, taking his hands in mine and pulling him with me. I walked into my bedroom. I lied down, and he lied on top of me, his wings splayed out, the tips hanging over the sides and grazing the wooden floor.

His head rested on my chest. His limbs went limp, his eyes closing slowly. I ran my fingers through his already tousled hair. His wings were looking better already. The bones weren't bent in so many places and I could tell he was in less pain. I touched his wing again, marveling at the silk like feel. I watched his face, making sure I didn't hurt him.

"Are all angel's wings black like yours?" I asked. He shook his head.

"Some are. Some are white, some gray, some gold. It varies."

"They're beautiful." I whispered.

"They hurt." He said in a strained voice. I bit my lip and winced.

"Just sleep," I said, caressing his neck and back. "It'll be better if you sleep." It was a weak attempt at comfort, but he accepted it.

"I feel safe when I'm with you." He said. This frightened me more than if he had yelled at me. An angel feeling safe with a weak human like me. Why didn't he have some sort of comfort as far as Heaven went? Was it really as full of tyranny as I feared? By the sound of it, absolutely.

"I don't know what they'll want from me now." He said, sounding scared.

"So what they tell you," I pleaded. "No matter what it is just do it. Please." He looked up at me, confused.

"Why?" He asked in a low voice.

"I don't want them to hurt you again." I said, trying to keep the fear, desperation and tears out of my voice. He merely nodded and lied his head back down. I continued to caress his face and hair. He was so warm, and so soft.

I looked up, wondering how long we _could_ stay a secret. How long we _could_ remain like this. How long I _could_ keep my home a sanctuary to him. It was only a matter of time until they figured out where he was when he disappeared from radar.

But they didn't know right now. Right now he was with me. Right now he was safe. If only I knew how fragile all of this was, and it was about to come tumbling down on top of us.


	6. Hum Hallelujah

**Rating: T**

**Summary: Castiel reveals who he really is. Spoilers for 4x21**

**Hum Hallelujah **

I woke up the next morning extremely surprised to see Castiel still lying on top of me. I was also surprised that my assumption that it was morning was wrong as well. It was almost three o'clock in the afternoon.

I gently touched his face, not wanting to wake him. His wings were completely mended now, not a solitary feather out of place.

I wondered if he would take off if he woke up, which made me more cautious than I was. He began to stir, as if sensing I was awake. His eyes opened, still slightly fogged with sleep. He looked up at me, and he smiled.

"Hi." I said, not knowing what else to say.

"Hi, He said. He sat up slowly, glancing sideways at his wings. "I healed." He stated, looking pleased. I frowned.

"Does that mean you're leaving?" I asked quietly. I was going to hate the answer, like I usually did. He would leave again, I knew it. And I was right.

"Just for awhile. I'll be back by tonight. I swear." He said.

_He can't lie,_ I thought. _He's coming back tonight, which isn't that far from now._

"Why do you have to leave?" I asked, close to a whine, really.

"I'm not sure," Castiel said, his voice becoming soft. "I don't know what they want me to do, but it's something bad…I can feel it, Melissa."

I sat up and stroked his cheek.

"Please, Castiel, no matter how terrible it is, just do it," I pleaded. "I don't want a repeat of last night ever again. I don't want them to hurt you." He nodded and stood.

"I have to go," He kissed me. "I will be back as soon as I can. I don't know how long this will take," I nodded. "But I will try my hardest to be back to you tonight."

"And if you're not?" I asked.

"Then I will be here tomorrow. That I know for sure," He kissed me again. "I love you." I blinked and he was fully clothed, his wings gone.

"I love you too."

* * *

He didn't come back that night. He came back the next morning.

I was reading through a book that I wasn't really paying attention to when he blipped into my room. I sat up and nearly threw the paperback across the room. I smiled at him, but my smile quickly faded when I saw him.

He looked at me in silent agony, his eyes close to overflowing with tears. I stood and went over to him.

"Castiel, what happened?" He looked down at me, opening his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. I hugged him. He collapsed in my arms, wrapping his own around me and sobbing into my hair.

A storm that I had only heard once before began waging outside.

"Cas, what's wrong, tell me, please! What did they do to you?!" He shook his head. "They didn't do anything to you?" He shook his head again. "Then what, Angel?"

"I had to l-let Sam out, I had t-to. I d-didn't want to. He's d-d-dangerous. They made me. An-and then he hurt D-Dean. Tr-tried to kill him. I saw a-all of it. I co-couldn't do anything. He hurt D-Dean and it's all m-my f-f-fault!" He shuddered.

"Shh…" I said, unable to comprehend what he had just told me. "Where did you let Sam out of?"

"This r-room of Bobby's. Th-they were keeping him there so-so he wouldn't drink demon bl-blood," I gasped, but Castiel continued. "And I let him out!"

"Was Dean keeping him there?" I asked. He nodded. It made sense. Dean wanted his brother to detox from…demon blood. That thought alone made me shiver. No wonder he had burned Cas the last time I saw him.

"It's not your fault, Cas, not if they made you." I soothed, stroking his hair.

"Th-that's not the worst of it!" He cried. "I gave them An-Anna. She-ll be pun-punished like me. I tr-tried to tell her to g-go, but she woul-wouldn't listen."

"It's not your fault, Anna knows that," I said. "She won't blame you, Cas. I know she won't."

"I betrayed her!" He sobbed. "D-Dean swore his ob-obedience to us. To G-God. But I d-don't think he sh-should have."

"Castiel, listen to me," I lifted his chin. "If they told you to do something and you obeyed it is, not, your, fault."

I told him to listen to them and this is what it did to him. This is how much it hurt him. _This_ was my fault. It shouldn't have happened.

"I don't want them to hurt you again," I continued. "But you have to do what you know is right, Cas. These angels have a warped sense of right and wrong, but you don't! You know if something is right or not, you know if someone should be punished for something they did or not. You might be the last good angel there is. And I don't want you to do something you don't believe in because of me." He nodded and swallowed.

"I don't know what to do, Melissa. Sam and Dean…they'll never be the same again. Dean will blame himself for what has happened and try to apologize. But in his current state, I don't think Sam will listen." He said. "And who knows what Zachariah will have me do next! I might have to sacrifice a virgin for all I know."

We were quiet for a long time, just looking at each other, each lost in our own thoughts.

"Melissa?" He said, breaking the silence suddenly. I looked up at him. "Melissa, I need to know something about you." My brow creased in confusion and curiosity.

"It's something I have to show you." He said, stepping away from me.

"What?" I asked.

"Me. I need to show you me," My eyes grew. Castiel took a deep breath. "The second your eyes start to hurt you close them." He commanded. I nodded. He took another deep breath.

A white light came from his eyes and his mouth, and about five and a half seconds later my entire room was filled with this brilliant light. And my eyes were fine.

I first looked down at Jimmy's body, which remained still, save the rhythmic breathing, and I looked up at the source of the light.

When I had had my vision in the warehouse of him being taken back to Heaven I didn't get a chance to look at him, or any of the others, for that matter.

He was beautiful, more beautiful than anything I had ever seen in my life. And I understood then that this was why he was not human, he was too perfect.

His skin was as white as marble, his hair the palest blonde and fell to his shoulders, his ink black wings spread around him, the only reason I knew without a doubt that it was him was the sparkling blue eyes. A golden light lit above his head, a halo.

He looked at me, his perfect, chiseled features cautious. I was walking toward him without realizing it, and now I was directly in front of him.

"Can you hear me?" He said, his voice was powerful and echoed. I nodded. I reached out to touch him. "Careful!" He warned. I touched his face; he was so warm. He smiled at me and I thought I might faint. "Why are you crying?" He asked, gingerly wiping tears off my cheeks. I hadn't noticed them until now.

"You're beautiful." I said, my voice a mere wisp of sound. He smiled again and I felt lightheaded.

"You're chosen, Melissa," He said, brushing my hair out of my face. "There aren't many people out there like you."

"Do you know someone else that can see angels like this?"

"I can only think of one," He said. "And her name was Mary."

I ran my fingers through his hair, so soft it didn't feel like it was there. I touched his lips, his arms, his chest, and I could only think one thing.

_Edward Cullen can kiss my ass!_

Not sure why that was the first thing that popped in my mind, but it was.

He gently cradled my cheek in his hand and brushed his lips against mine. Once he was satisfied nothing bad had happened, he kissed me more firmly.

My heart was going to explode, I just knew it would. It was pounding way too hard. I felt like I was floating high above this dark Earth. I could feel his light in me, and it was the greatest feeling in the world.

He pulled away from me, smiling lightly.

There was another bright flash of light. I blinked and he was in Jimmy's body again, right in front of me where he had been.

I was kissing him before I thought about what I was doing. He wrapped his arms around me.

I was still trying to get over the fact that I could both see and speak to angels when a voice said:

"I thought you would have learned your lesson, Castiel."

--Oh no! Cliffie!! : ( --


	7. Livin' on a Prayer

**Rating: T**

**Summary: Castiel and Melissa are discovered.**

**Livin' On a Prayer**

"I thought you would have learned your lesson, Castiel."

Castiel and I both jumped, breaking apart.

Five men were standing in my living room. One I recognized.

"Zachariah." Castiel said. I had met Zachariah before and he seemed nice enough. I could tell from the look on Castiel's face that I was wrong.

He smiled pleasantly and walked toward us. Castiel gripped me tighter.

"I can see that usual methods don't work with you."

"You son of a bitch, you did that to him?" I yelled. He glared at me.

"You should respect me, Melissa. You don't understand the power I have." He said.

"You don't scare me, Zachariah," I said. "From what I've gathered you and your cronies are doing everything but God's will."

"You dare to question God?" He asked.

"No, I would never do such a thing. But you, I'll question you 'til I'm blue in the face." Zachariah looked at Castiel.

"I would hope if you were going to commit this kind of disobedience you would at least find a woman that can keep her mouth shut," He said. Castiel scowled. "I hope you understand what must be done now." He was circling us, like a predator preparing to strike.

"What do you mean?" Castiel asked.

"They don't call something forbidden if it's allowed to happen," He snapped. "She," He pointed at me. "Will be going to Hell. In the same dark corner Dean was in."

"Over my dead body!" Castiel growled.

"See, that can be arranged very easily," He said, his smile never leaving his face. "You see first we take out the human soul that resides in your vessel and put him alongside her. And then we take as much time as we want making you cease to be. There will be no Heaven or Hell, you will simply be gone," He paused in front of us. "Yes, I think that suitable justice."

Suddenly I was being ripped away from Castiel by four strong arms. Two of the other angels dragged me back, and two others grabbed Castiel. Zachariah came toward me, a knife in his hand with strange markings on it.

"This will send you straight to Hell, dear. But unlike Dean Winchester, there will be no one to go and retrieve you." He brushed the hair off of my neck with the blade.

"Get away from her!" Castiel bellowed. He was putting up a hell of a fight, pardon the pun, to try and get to me. Zachariah chuckled and walked away from me, over to him. I picked up my efforts to get away.

"I don' think you realize just how easy it is to get rid of you, Castiel," One second, Zachariah's hand was empty. The next, a long silver sword rested in his grip. Castiel's eyes grew and he fought to get away from him. I realized what it was then. The sword that could kill angels.

"Get away from him!" I yelled. Zachariah smiled and pressed the blade to his throat. Castiel closed his eyes.

"Too easy," Zachariah whispered. "But no, I won't make this so quick for you," He sauntered back over to me. "You can watch her die, first."

He grabbed a fist full of my hair and yanked my head back, baring my neck.

"Wait, you can't kill her she's chosen!" Castiel shouted. Zachariah turned and smiled at him.

"I don't care." He said coldly. He pressed the knife to my throat again.

"NO! LET HER GO! Take me, TAKE ME!" Castiel screamed.

I felt the knife start to cut my neck when there was a brilliant flash of light that made me gasp.

I opened my eyes and four more men were in my small apartment.

The man who stood at the front was tall, muscular, olive-skinned, and very handsome. His wavy jet black hair fell to his shoulders, his dark brown eyes seemed to pierce through everyone he looked at.

The man who stood to his immediate left was equally as handsome. His mop of blonde hair was kinky curly, his pale eyes kind and warm, a small smile on his tanned face.

The man next to him had pale skin and mousy brown hair. His intense eyes were iron in color. He was frightening to look at, but beautiful at the same time. Like a predator.

And the last man was slight but lean, his hair was a dark auburn, his green eyes bright and curious. He stood at the back, looking at me shyly.

I looked across the room at Castiel, who had never looked so scared.

The man with the black hair stepped forward, anger apparent on his face, but his voice was calm.

"Step away from him." He commanded. I looked at Castiel again, but he was already looking at me.

"Michael." He breathed. My head snapped back to the dark haired man. Michael, the Michael. The guy from all those old paintings, was in my living room.

"Release them both, now." His hard words seemed to snap them out of their daze. They let Castiel and me go. I ran over to him. He hugged me to his chest, his eyes never leaving the Archangel.

"What have you done here, Zachariah?" Michael asked.

"Michael," Zachariah began. "These are sinners. Castiel has been with this woman for some time now. We found him when he went into his true form." Michael looked at us, his face unreadable.

"She can see us in our celestial forms?" He asked. Castiel nodded. Michael turned to Zachariah.

"You were not only going to murder our brother but someone who is chosen as well?" He asked. He stepped toward us. The other angels, save the three that arrived with Michael, backed away from him on the other side of the room.

"Forgive us, Castiel," He said. Castiel looked confused. "You did not deserve any of the punishment given to you previously. Your, 'disobedience' as these fools put it, was false. You have done the right thing when none of these mindless blasphemers could. And we thank you for it."

He turned on the other angels, teeth bared in a snarl, but still graceful. It was very strange to me.

"I should smite the rest of you where you stand!" He barked.

"Michael, please." The blonde man said, his voice gentle but strong. Michael turned.

"Gabriel they-"

"We know what they did, Michael, and I for one am on your side." The hard looking man said, his eyes ablaze with anger, voice deep and rumbling.

"Raphael, there is no need for that," The shy man said, his voice soft. "Michael, mercy exists for a reason."

"Azrael, you're the angel of death and you speak of mercy!" Raphael scoffed. "Wrath exists as well."

"And you are all for another Sodom and Gomorrah, aren't you?" Gabriel snickered.

"Enough." Michael said.

"You won't kill us, Michael," Zachariah said confidently. "That would make you as terrible as we are."

Michael rushed him, causing him to fly back into the wall.

"You must remember, brother, that your sword kills angels," He growled. There was a flash of white light and a sword appeared in Michael's hand, and it was on fire. "Mine can kill anything."

For the first time since I had met him, Zachariah looked scared.

"Michael," Gabriel took the sword in his own hand. "Please, don't do this in front of Melissa. She doesn't need to see this."

They were speaking as if I wasn't there.

Michael backed away from them, anger slowly leaving his face.

"I will deal with all of you later." He said darkly. There was a sharp snap of his fingers and the attackers were gone.

"That was anticlimactic." Raphael grumbled.

Michael ignored him and looked back at us. It was only then I noticed that Castiel was trembling.

"I am not going to harm you, Castiel, none of us are. That I swear to you." He said.

"We did not come here to speak of your disobedience," Azrael stated. "We came to help you."

"Why?" Castiel asked, attempting to keep his voice even.

"What we have, it's forbidden, isn't it?" I asked. Michael smiled knowingly at me.

"The day that it becomes forbidden to love is the day I die." He said.

"God would never punish someone for loving," Gabriel said. "Not when he loves so much himself."

"And how do you know that?" Castiel challenged. The Archangels looked at each other.

"Because we are the only four angels to ever talk to our father. Face to face." Raphael said. Castiel swallowed.

"Why would the other angels say that it was forbidden, then?" I asked, ignoring the importance of their statement.

"Rules they have invented to their own benefit, nothing more." Azrael explained.

"So, we're allowed to be together?" I said quietly. Michael looked at his comrades.

"I know nothing of such a relationship. Do any of you?" He said. The others shook their heads, Azrael and Gabriel smiling. Raphael continued his sullen demeanor. Michael smiled at us.

"Take care of her, Castiel. She's quite special." He stepped back, winking broadly at me before he disappeared with the others.

I looked up at my angel, who looked just as shocked as I was.

"We're free."

--More soon!!--


	8. Lips of an Angel

**Rating: M (just to be safe)**

**Summary: Castiel and Melissa are free, time to celebrate**

**Lips of an Angel**

"We're free." I said. The sound rang throughout the room, echoing, finalizing. We looked at each other, silent. Dead silent. I could hear nothing else besides the beating of my heart. He looked down at me, searching my face for something. Slowly, a smile crept across his face until it broke out into a downright grin that went all the way through his eyes. I smiled right back at him.

"We are." He said. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him. He lifted me off the ground and spun me around. I giggled and continued to kiss him, and he kissed me back. And then we were falling.

Castiel had unwittingly backed into my bed. He fell on his back, leaving me to lie on his chest. He stared up at me, eyes wide with shock at what just happened, regaining composure of the situation. I laughed. And after a moment, he did too.

I'm not sure how long we were laughing, but when we stopped we were left to stare at each other, his blue eyes boring into me, making my heart stutter.

I bit my lip at the intensity that lied in that sea of blue. His brows joined as he stared up at me.

My heart thudded against my ribcage, waiting for what he would do or say next.

Silence lapsed between us, silence that quickly became awkward. He opened his mouth several times to speak, but always changed his mind before he did.

"What's wrong?" I finally asked; I couldn't take it anymore. He started to sit up; I slid off of him, sitting next to him on the bed rather than on him.

He wasn't looking at me now. He was staring at his hands, looking almost ashamed.

"Cas, what?"

He sighed, closing his eyes for a brief moment.

"I…You know how much I care about you," It wasn't a question. I let him continue. "From words. From what I have said to you," He looked up, his eyes beseeching me. At the rate I was going I was gonna chew my lip off one of these days. "I…I want…to show you." He admitted. I swallowed, making my pounding heart go back to my chest.

"But..?" I prompted. He looked down again. His hands were clamped together so tightly his knuckles were white. He shut his eyes, exhaled and licked his lips.

"I…I don't know…" He looked up at me, his eyes naked. "I don't know how." I stopped my jaw from dropping.

I scooted closer to him, gently taking his hand and looking into his eyes.

"It's alright," I said quietly. "Just…go with your instincts." He took in a shaking breath and nodded slowly. I leaned closer to him, brushing my nose against his as I touched his cheek and kissed him softly. Slowly, my hand slipped down to his neck, a finger tracing his ear. He shivered. I gasped –my eyes flying open- when his tongue slid into my mouth, exploring, curious.

My heart beat faster.

He shrugged off the trench coat and suit jacket in one movement, tossing them behind him. I heard a faint flutter as they fell on the wooden floor.

My tongue responded to his. His grip on the bedspread underneath him tightened fiercely. I pulled away from him, looking into his eyes.

They were filled with both desire and fear. His breath came in quick gasps. He was terrified, of everything. What he was doing, what he was feeling, what he wanted, everything.

"Relax." I whispered. He swallowed hard.

I kissed his neck, carefully, making sure I didn't overwhelm him. My searching hands found the knot of his tie. I felt it slide in my hands and I pulled it over his head. His fingers were tangled in my hair, his grip loose, his body tense.

I bit down lightly on the small bit of skin I had between my lips. He moaned aloud and gasped, his chest heaving.

I looked up at him, fearful I had done something wrong. His eyes were wide, pupils slightly dilated, cheeks flushed.

"What…what was that?" He stammered. "Th-that feeling?" I pressed my lips together to hide my smile.

"Pleasure," I said. He nodded. "Do you want to stop?" He touched my face, pushing my hair behind my ear.

"No."

I was kissing his neck again. His hands lingered on the hem of my shirt, which had been torn in the previous struggle. I assured him my permission by squeezing his shoulders. He pulled it over my head with shaking hands. My hands found his shirt buttons and I undid them, trying to hide my anxiety. My eyes bore over every inch of flesh I revealed, lust building inside me.

The shirt was gone moments later. I put my hand on his chest, urging him to lie down. He fell back on his elbows, splayed out in front of me.

God it was hot.

I shimmied my jeans off, watching his ever still wide eyes follow them to the floor. I stepped toward him and he stiffened, his breathing becoming even more rapid.

I slid over him, pressing my hand against his chest again, feeling his thundering heart under his ribs. He lay completely flat, looking at me with such an immense amount of trust in his eyes. I kissed him.

"Relax, Cas." He didn't do any sort of the thing until I started kissing down his chest. His fingers clenched the linen underneath his fingers.

My hands slipped down his arms and ghosted down his torso, making goosebumps erupt all over him. He shivered and moaned.

I started to undo his belt but his hands beat me there. He undid it, his pants button and zipper with trembling fingers and slid it down his legs and onto the floor.

I kissed back up his chest, biting gently here and there. He gasped and moaned, his hands on my back.

I kissed the hollow behind his ear before sucking on his earlobe.

"More." He choked. I moved his hands up, telling him silently to undo my bra. Fingers made clumsy by adrenaline snapped it open. It and my underwear were swiftly discarded. I slid my knee up between his legs.

"Oh!" He whimpered, body trembling at the sensation. "More, more…"

My hands gripped the waistband of his boxers and pulled them down and off, not caring where they landed.

There he was, completely naked. Naturally, I bit my lip. So beautiful and arousing, but his eyes were so innocent, which only made my desire worse. I kissed his lips and his cheek, feeling him shake beneath me.

"Melissa," He breathed. "Please, Melissa."

No sooner did the words escape his kiss swollen lips that he wrapped an arm around my waist and rolled over. My head hit the pillow before I fully understood what was happening. When he went inside me my hands gripped his shoulders tightly as I moaned. He leaned down, brushing his nose on my cheek, nuzzling his face against me. That's when he started moving.

His hips rolled forward, sending himself deeper and deeper into me.

"Oh God!" I gulped, wincing at the poor pun. His touch was still so gentle, and his iris's had all but disappeared behind his pupils.

He gasped and moaned, his eyes never leaving me. He hit that certain spot and I screamed his name.

We rolled over and I was on top of him.

He said my name in a muddle of moans and soft pleas as I thrust forward. Sweat beaded down his face, his hands clenched my hips.

"Yehes, oh, Melissa, yes, please…"

I felt it coming, an orgasm that had been building in my stomach for quite some time. And it did.

He threw his head back, screaming my name as he came, his orgasm reaching its peak.

I collapsed next to him once the final waves had been ridden out, breathing hard and fast. He turned and looked at me, that same innocence present.

"What was that?" He whispered.

"An orgasm." I said. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and pulled me to him. I rested my head against his warm, soft chest, breathing in the smell that was Castiel.

"I'm tired." He said, puzzled.

"That was a lot of work. It's normal." He rested his head on the pillow, still looking at me.

"I love you." He said.

"You're allowed to now," I said with a small smile. "And I love you too. More than anything."

He kissed me, his eyes closing against his will. He forced them back open. I smiled.

"Sleep, Angel." I said.

I spent that night in his arms, still unable to believe I had slept with an angel and wasn't dead yet. He looked peaceful for the first time in a long time, and I was happy for that. I slept soundly, knowing that he would be there tomorrow, and nothing could take him away from me. Except perhaps the apocalypse. But that's for another time.

**The End**

**Until Season five, that is…**

**--**Don't be sad! There'll be more to this story come season 5! Until then, adieu--


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